The GWing Boys go to Church
by we no longer exist
Summary: What do you get when you throw the G-Wing boys in to a church with Relena, Hilde and other horrible characters? An R rated hilarious 5,000 word fic!!! Relena, Hilde and Dorothy bashing inside! Yaoi!!!


THE G-WING BOYS GO TO CHURCH!!  
  
  
  
  
WARNING!!!!WARNING!!!!WARNING!!!!WARNING!!!!WARNING!!!!  
  
THIS STORY MAKES FUN OF THE CHURCH OF PEACECRAFTS!! AND ALL OTHER CHURCHES AS WELL!! IF YOU THINK YOU WILL BE OFFENDED BY THIS, GO AWAY NOW!!! YOU HAVE BEEN PROPERLY WARNED!!  
On a lighter note, this story also contains Yaoi. 1X2, 3X4, and mention of 5X6. If you are disturbed by this, go and seek mental health from your local psychiatrist.   
This story has been co-authored. The authoresses are me, YamiEmmy, and that baka sitting next to me, (though she did most of the work) Trunks lil sis.  
ENJOY, YOU BAKAS!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Mission: Protect Relena while she goes to church. Mission accepted." Heero said to the group.  
  
"WHAT!? There is no way in Hell that you are going to get Shinigami in that church!"  
  
". . ."  
  
"I guess I can go. I mean, I'm not a Christian, but..."  
  
"INJUSTICE!!! I WILL NOT GO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I won't sleep with you for a month if you make me go!!! I swear it!!"  
  
"I thought you didn't lie, Duo? So stop saying things that you know you won't live up to."  
  
"Well, okay, maybe not a month, but a week!!" Heero raised his eyebrow. "A day?" Heero didn't change his expression one bit. "Fine, you win. Maybe an hour at most."  
  
"That's better. But we're still going."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Duo latched onto the wall and was fighting Heero to the best of his abilities. Well, okay, not quite, but he wasn't letting go of the wall.  
  
And that's how Trowa and Quatre found them when they came downstairs, carrying an unconscious WuFei. "Heero, what are you doing?"  
  
"Trying to get Duo to let go of the wall."  
  
"I'M NOT GOING TO GO TO THAT CHURCH!! I DON'T WANNA!!"  
  
"Duo, stop acting like a little kid, we have to get going!!"  
  
"Hey, Heero, why don't you just knock him out? That's what we did to WuFei, and he's not giving us any troubles."  
  
"I already tried that. He woke up just as I was about to pick him up. Then I tried to tie him up, but that didn't work either. As soon as my back was turned, he weaseled himself out."  
  
"Did you try the gas?"  
  
"Yes. He's immune to it."  
  
"Did you try the sedatives?"  
  
"Immune."  
  
Well, why don't you pull him out by his hair?  
  
I might be brave, but I'm not stupid. He'll kill me if I do that.  
  
"Well, did you try tickling him?"  
  
".... Now, why didn't I think of that?" Heero turned to Duo with a smirk.  
  
"Heero, don't look at me like that! NOO! Fine, fine, I'll go!! Just don't tickle me!!"  
  
"That's what I thought." Heero crossed his arms.  
  
"Can we just get in the car?" Quatre asked rubbing his temples. "I think I have a headache coming on." He paused as if in thought as WuFei stirred in his sleep. "Matter of fact, it kind of feels like the time I was using the Zero system."  
  
Everyone froze, panic sweeping them as WuFei climbed to his feet rubbing his head.  
  
"Slowly back away," Heero advised pulling out his gun and car keys. "And for gods sake Duo, don't talk."  
  
Duo threw him a puzzled look. "Why not?"  
  
"Your voice is annoying right now."  
  
"THIS IS STILL INJUSTICE. I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO BE DEGRADED IN A CHURCH!!!! AND ESPECIALLY NOT IN FRONT OF THAT STALKER!!!!!" Duo nodded strongly agreeing with WuFei.  
  
". . ."   
  
"Exactly Trowa!" Heero began to load more bullets into his gun until he was forcing too many in. "You both are too stubborn, what are you accomplishing here by arguing? Well?" Heero asked as Quatre burst into tears.  
  
"What's with him? Duo asked edging away from Quatre.  
  
" . . ." Trowa informed them.  
  
"Who'd of thought that reminded Quatre of his father?" Duo said curiously.  
  
"In the car. Now!" Heero ordered.  
  
"I'LL MAKE THEM ALL PAY! ALL THOSE CHURCH GOERS WILL PAY FOR MY FATHER'S DEATH, HE WILL BE AVENGED!!!! Heeheeheehaahaahaa HEEHEEHEEHAAHAAHAA!"   
  
". . . " Trowa tried to reason with Quatre.  
  
"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THEY MUST DIE!!! ALL OF THEM!!!!! I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH!!! I AM SHINIGAMI!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh shit." WuFei muttered as he dove under the car.  
  
Duo, on the other hand, jumped at Quatre fully intending to take back his title. "I AM SHINIGAMI!!! THERE IS ONLY ONE SHINIGAMI!!!!!"  
  
Heero grabbed Duo by his braid and pulled him down to the ground. Sitting on him, he motioned Trowa to move Quatre into the car. "GET OFF ME, HEERO!!! SCREW QUATRE'S FATHER, I MUST BE AVENGED!!! I DEMAND JUSTICE!!! WHERE'S WUFEI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
And if it was possible, WuFei pushed himself even further under the car.  
  
"Calm down. Now." Heero warned. "You wouldn't want to be suddenly left alone in a room with Hilde, would you?"  
  
"No."  
  
". . .!" Trowa called from the car.  
  
"Come on." He pulled Duo up by his braid and began to drag him over to the car. "Trowa says Quatre won't stop tearing apart the car till you apologize to him.  
  
" I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE TO THAT NAME TAKING FRAUD!"   
  
It happened so fast Heero hadn't the chance to stop it. It amazed even WuFei how fast Quatre moved. The small blonde had dove strait through the window and tacked the god of death strait to the cold, hard cement. They were now rolling in a large white cloud only visible to Anime characters.  
  
"Trowa, get out here and help me!" Heero called as he reached for Duo's braid but missed again.   
  
". . ."   
  
"Nonsense, there's nothing to be afraid of."   
  
". . .!"  
  
"Well . . . but he's not going to kill you!"  
  
" . . .!!!!"  
  
Heero growled as he finally managed to pull Duo out of the cloud of smoke. The god of death and the perfect little angel *coughbullshitcough* were still throwing insults.   
  
"YOU DADDY'S BOY!"  
  
"AT LEAST I HAD A FATHER!"  
  
"AND WHY DON'T YOU ANYMORE? CAUSE I'M SHINIGAMI AND I TOOK HIS SOUL!"  
  
"YOU HEARTLESS FUCKING BASTARD!" Everyone froze at the words that had come out of the sweetest pilot. Duo, surprisingly, had shrunk in size and was now hiding behind Heero.  
  
"Now that that's settled, lets go to the church. We do have a mission and a schedule to keep." Quatre skipped happily over to the car, Zero mode forgotten.  
  
"Let's go now." Heero said one more time. He shot death glares to the neighbors that had come out to watch. "And I mean now!"  
  
"I'm not going in there with him!!" Duo shrieked, pointing at Quatre.   
  
"NOW!" Heero screamed.  
  
Duo looked indecisive for a moment. He looked between his choices. Heero: Who was more then willing to cut their sex life off. (Though secretly Duo knew Heero was just as sex craved as he was) Or Quatre: Who could go Zero at anytime. And that in its self was a fate far worse then death.  
  
Falling to his knees he threw his hands towards the sky. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIFE SO HARD, GOD?!?!?!?!"  
  
All of the pilots and the neighbors who had come out to watch the fiasco stared at Duo and simultaneously sweat dropped.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Mercedes pulled up the the parking lot of the church, and three of the guys got out. Duo and WuFei were the only ones still in the car.  
  
Heero said in a very dangerous voice, get out of the car. Now.  
  
Heero, you know I love you, right? Duo said in a sweet voice. When Heero didn't answer, Duo continued. Yeah, it was love at first sight.  
  
Bullshit, Duo. The first time you saw me, you shot me. Twice.  
  
... Okay, maybe not at FIRST sight, but it WAS love at SECOND sight.  
  
I love you too, Duo, but we are still going to go into that church. That is part of the mission.  
  
But can't you guys do the mission without me? Duo pleaded in an innocent voice.  
  
Probably, but if I have to suffer with Relena throwing herself at me, then you have to suffer too.  
  
But I don't like that church!!  
  
What do you have against churches, anyway? You DID grow up in one, didn't you?  
  
Yeah, but that church want the Peacecraft Private Church. I don't want to be an a church built especially for Relena and all of her other rich ass friends. Got it?  
  
Yeah, I guess, but it doesn't matter. You're still going in there.  
  
While Heero was trying to talk Duo into getting out of the car, Quatre and Trowa were trying to get WuFei out of the Mercedes as well. And naturally, he wouldn't budge.  
  
. . .? Trowa asked Quatre.  
  
I don't know. WuFei, what's it going to take to get you out of the car?  
  
You couldn't pay me enough to go into that church, Quatre. And saying that to you, just proves my point.  
  
. . .  
  
No, I'm still not going to go.  
  
. . .!  
  
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MISSION!  
  
WuFei, just calm down.  
  
NO! Not until someone can promise me that I won't have to go into that church!!  
  
. . .!  
  
... What do you mean by that?  
  
Well, WuFei, it IS unhonorable to refuse your mission. And you are also acting like a small child.  
  
Your point is?  
  
. . .!!!  
  
FINE! I'll go! Just stop saying stuff like that!!  
  
. . .  
  
Are you mocking me, Trowa?  
  
. . .  
  
The five of them finally got up to the front of the church, and Heero had to try really hard not to turn around and take up WuFei's earlier hiding spot under the car.  
  
A voice that could put a banshee to shame came from somewhere in the direction of a pink blur.   
  
Heero's got a stalker, Heero's got a stalker!! Duo teased Heero quietly as Relena got closer.  
  
Before Relena got close enough, Heero hid. Relena couldn't find him so she left. So do you, Heero said to Duo.  
  
  
  
Came a voice that oddly sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard.  
  
Why me? Duo was able to say before the sudden impact of Hilde running at full speed hit him. His air supply was cut off as she wrapped her arms around him.  
  
Hilde .... Can't .... Breathe!!! .... Need ..... Air!!!! Duo was finding it hard to stay conscious. The lack of air was really starting to get to him.   
  
Oh, I'm sorry Duo!! Hilde said as she let her grip loosen. Not much, but Duo could breathe again.  
  
Hilde, you DO know I'm in love with Heero, right?  
  
No you're not. You love me and I know you do. You just like teasing me by pretending that you're gay. But I can see the truth.   
  
Someone's been taking lessons from Relena. . . WuFei muttered.  
  
. . . Trowa agreed.  
  
That bitch has lost her mind,' Duo thought to himself. Why can't I get rid of her?' But out loud, he said, Hilde, I really do love Heero. We've been together for about three and a half years. How much longer is it going to take until that small fact sinks in?  
  
Duo, I know that you have been pretending to be gay for three and a half years. But I also know you aren't gay.  
  
WuFei was laughing his ass off at the predicament that Duo was in, but he didn't think that this little show before the main torment could get much worse. Boy, was he wrong!!  
  
  
  
. . .!!  
  
OH SHIT! INJUSTICE!!  
  
RUN Q-MAN!!  
  
What is it guys?  
  
Dorothy had just gotten out of her car and had spotted Quatre.  
  
Quatre, my love! While one blonde froze in fear, the other exited her car and ran towards the first blonde.  
  
. . . Trowa stepped in front of Quatre, fully intending to protect him. Dorothy reached them and with a flick of her wrist she knocked Trowa a few hundred feet away.   
  
Dorothy latched onto Quatre's arm and was cutting of the circulation. Quatre, my love! We can live together forever and have many beautiful children! And we can have wild, hot sex while discussing war tactics. And we can start another war in which we can kill every one, and then our children can kill every one!!!  
  
. . .   
  
Quatre, my love, what's he saying? She gave Quatre a funny look. Why's he looking at me like that?  
  
I'd advise you to run, Miss Dorothy.   
  
. . .!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The shit is about to hit the fans. Duck and cover, people! Duo yelled out.  
  
Run now, Miss Dorothy.  
  
Trowa whipped out a very large hunting rifle, and aimed it at her forehead.  
  
Trowa's got a gun, Duo sang out as Dorothy eeped and ran towards the church screaming for war, or something that sounded close to Relena.  
  
. . . Trowa put away his rifle and pulled Quatre close.  
  
You're scary at times, Barton. WuFei said.  
  
Inside. Now. We have a mission to complete.   
  
Ya know, Hee-chan, it's always been a dream of mine to screw in the back of a church.   
  
Isn't that, like, automatic damnation, or something? WuFei asked.  
  
Well, you can't have it all.  
  
Heero pulled open the doors and dragged his companions in.  
  
Maxwell, weren't you supposed to dress up?  
  
No, see that's just rich people talk. The Lord don't care what you look like when you show up, just as long as you show up. But I aint been to church in a while, it could've changed.  
  
Heero led them over to Relena, forcing Duo to dry heave in disgust. I promise you a long, hard, screw when we're done with this mission. Heero whispered to Duo.   
  
Hee-chan, that makes it all worth it.   
  
They walked towards Relena and sat in the row behind her. She turned around and locked her eyes on Heero. Now that you have finally come to your senses and decided to come to church with me, we can banish those evil homosexual ways that Maxwell has forced into your head.  
  
Duo silently reached for Heero's gun, but Heero saw him and caught his hand. You know I can't let you do that, Duo. Heero said quietly to Duo.  
  
B-b-but I can shoot her in the head and then I can Neurolize all the people in the church like they did in that movie Men in Black.' Oh wait, you fell asleep in that movie, didn't you? Heero didn't respond, confirming Duo's suspicions. I thought so.  
  
You still can't shoot her, Duo. That would mean a failed mission. And I don't fail missions.  
  
But the way she's looking at you!!! I don't like it when anyone other than me looks at you like that!!  
  
Calm down. The service thingy is about to start.  
  
No it isn't. They just make it look like that. They make you shut up and then then still don't do anything. The service isn't going to start for another half hour at least.  
  
So for the next half an hour Duo made it his soul purpose in life to discuss his and Heero's sex life infront of Relena. Duo found the most pleasure in making the former Queen squirm in her seat.  
  
Hey, Hee-chan, wanna go fuck in the back room now?  
  
Relena screamed in Heero's ear. Come and sit by me so that Maxwell can't corrupt your mind any further. I need to be protected.  
  
Heero stood slowly as if in great pain. With lighting fast reflexes Duo's hand shot out and grabbed Heero's coat. I swear to you Heero, if you go sit there I won't sleep with you for a month. I may run and I may hid but I never tell a lie. Duo glared at him, and if Heero had not had training, he would have cringed under the death glare he received. Sit now!  
  
Looking between Relena and Duo he found himself in a very weird situation. A situation he had never found himself in before. He stood frozen and again looked between his mission and his lover.   
  
Three seconds Heero, I swear to you. I'll get up now, go home and throw all of your things out of our room. You'll sleep on the couch for a whole month and then we'll see how much of a perfect soldier you are.  
  
Very slowly Heero fell back to his seat next to Duo and crossed his arms. I will be able to watch you perfectly fine from here, Relena.  
  
Relena shot Duo a death glare, but it fell short when Shinigami silently promised blood shed if she didn't turn her ass around and shut up.  
  
It was suddenly deathly quiet, and as if Hitler himself had entered the room, all the people jumped up in their seats. Duo face faulted. The minister that walked in had to be at least two hundred years old and moved slower then a turtle. Duo's jaw hit the floor and it remained there as two people helped the old minister over to his podium.  
  
P-P-Pl-Ple-Please b-b-b-b-b-be s-s-s-s-se-se-sse-seated. Duo felt himself pulled down into his seat while still staring at the old man.  
  
You've got to be kidding me! Duo said to Heero. This guy's old enough to be God's godfather!!!  
  
W-w-w-w-w-we-we-welc-welcome o-o-on t-t-th-this m-m-mo-morn-morning. The ancient minister said.  
  
Gods, Heero, we need to go now. I can't take this anymore, I'm going to go crazy!  
  
Close your eyes and go to sleep. Heero suggested.  
  
Can I lean on you? Duo asked with a sly grin.  
  
Maxwell, pay attention. How can you be bored? Weren't you raised in a church? Aren't you used to this sort of thing? WuFei asked.  
  
Father Maxwell was not eight million years old! He had energy and he could talk without stuttering!!!  
  
P-p-p-p-please t-t-t-turn t-t-t-to ---- The old man's eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor.  
  
Silence filled the church until Duo stood up and shouted, It wasn't me!! I didn't kill the minister, and I don't have his soul, this time!!!!   
Heero reached up suddenly and grabbed Duo's hair, pulling him back down.  
  
I'm a minister! Duo called out. I grew up in a church and I'm a minister!! Duo pointed to his collar and nodded. Want me to do it, soon as you get the old, dead guy out of the way?  
  
Heero clamped a hand over Duo's mouth. Will you shut up if I let you go outside for some air? Duo nodded happily and grabbed Quatre's hand, dragging the blonde behind him.  
  
Minutes later found Duo sitting on the steps to the church. Want to go to the ice cream shop? Duo asked.  
  
You know we can't do that.  
  
  
  
Duo cringed as Hilde flew out of the church and locked him in her death grip. Heero said you could come sit with me! She began to pull Duo into the church.  
  
No he didn't Hilde, you're lying!!!!!!! Heero wouldn't say that! Quatre listened eyes wide.  
  
He would have if I had asked. Heero won't mind and you don't have to pretend to be gay any more. I'm going to take you home with me tonight! Quatre caught one glimpse of Duo's now white face as his own name was screamed.  
  
  
  
Miss Dorothy, please stop. Quatre begged as Dorothy began to drag him up the steps.   
  
They have a new minister and he's agreed to marry us.   
  
No! No! I WON'T GO!!!!!!! I WON'T LET YOU!!!!!! INJUSTICE!!!!!!! I LOVE TROWA AND I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FATHER AND TROWA WILL BE AVENGED. HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Back inside the church Trowa's head snapped up. . . . Trowa informed Heero.  
  
Zero again? Heero asked.  
  
. . .  
  
What about Duo? Heero asked.  
  
Ignore everything but me, Heero. Heero ground his teeth as Relena latched onto his arm. The moment Duo had left Relena had leaped over a row of benches to take Duo's place.  
  
Trowa pointed to Hilde who was dragging Duo down a row of seats on the other side of the church. Heero saw red when Hilde planted herself on Duo's lap.  
  
Don't blow this mission Yuy, you dragged my ass in here and I plan on staying.  
  
. . . Trowa shot back.  
  
I can too move!  
  
. . .  
  
I'm really starting to hate that attitude of yours, Barton.  
  
Trowa grinned.  
  
Don't move, Yuy. WuFei's hand shot out to grab Heero's arm.  
  
Let go of me NOW, Chang! Heero began to load ammunition into his gun. Barton, go get Quatre, and drag his ass in here. Heero paused to smirk. And if I do something irrational, go get one of those Nerulizers Duo was taking about.  
  
Trowa left and WuFei was left sitting alone, until . . . he realized   
Relena was next to him.  
  
You're not gay, are you WuFei? Relena asked with one of her sickeningly sweet smiles.  
  
Do you wish to keep your head on your shoulders, onna?   
  
Relena ignored him. Well, I knew out of all the pilots you would be the most grounded. I m counting on you to help Heero remember that we're mean to be together and that when he finally get together, we'll have lots of beautiful children. And then Heero will settle down with me and we'll all be happy and live in peace. And then Heero will be to busy with our 2.5 kids to notice me sending someone to kidnap Duo and have him sent into the sun! And then Heero and I will live out a long life together and our children will have children and we'll grow old together and die together and we'll go to heaven together and everything will be perfect!!  
  
WuFei had decided two words in that banging his head against the seat infront of him was less painful then listening to Relena. But then he suddenly looked up. What do you mean by 2.5 kids'? How the hell can someone have 2.5 kids?  
  
Please, WuFei, don't say that word while inside a church. And everyone knows that the perfect family has a mother and a father and 2.5 kids!!  
  
Things suddenly looked up when he heard gun shots coming from the direction of Hilde and Duo, followed by gun shots coming from outside the church. He could only guess the second shots had come from Trowa, though he could have ventured Quatre might have had the gun.  
  
When he looked over to Hilde and Duo, his smile grew. Hilde had ducked for cover the second Heero had started firing. Now Heero was smiling in his own freakish way, while carrying Duo back to them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Trowa dragging a smiling Quatre, while Dorothy edged along the wall trying to stay away from the both of them.  
  
Heero dropped Duo into a seat next to him, making sure Duo wasn't sitting next to Relena. Trowa and Quatre sat down as well.  
  
As soon as the new minister walked into the room, Heero suddenly yelled out of nowhere, ONE PENGUIN, TWO PENGUIN, BARK, QUACK, MOOOOO!!!  
  
Every one simultaneously sweat dropped and stared at Heero. What? Can't I be a little bit random at times?  
  
Hee-chan, you scare me sometimes, you know. Duo said quietly.  
  
Relena looked back to Duo and said in a very annoyed voice, First you make my Heero homosexual, then you make him random, and NOW, you make him embarrass himself in public?!?!  
  
The minister stared at Heero for a little while and then said, It's my pleasure to take over for today and hopefully the future. And I'd like to take the time to morally denounce the Gundams. These machines of the devil cause nothing but pain and death. God has shown me, in a vision, that we must seek out those who support the Gundams and show them the way of Christ!! The new minister said.  
  
Gods, let me kill him Heero, tell me I can kill him. Duo asked in a low voice.  
  
I will allow you to do this Duo. Heero said.  
  
You'll have to fight me for it. WuFei said. I want a piece of him too. INJUSTICE!  
  
. . .  
  
Duo and WuFei shot back. Quatre shouldn't get the minister. Duo said. I saw him first, I get first blood!  
  
HE'S MINE!!!! I NEED TO KILL HIM, MY FATHER MUST BE AVENGED!!!!!! FIRST BLOOD IS MY RIGHT!!!!! I WILL KILL THEM ALL!!!! I WILL BLOW UP THIS CHURCH AND THE WORLD!!! THEY WILL ALL PAY!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo, let Quatre have him. Heero advised.  
  
Q-Man, it's all yours.  
  
Justice is yours, Winner.  
  
. . .  
  
That's what I thought! Quatre whispered. He slowly rose up from his seat and started to silently walk towards the minister dude.  
  
Young man, do you want to be saved from the evilness that is the Gundams? He asked Quatre. If you do, you're going to have to wait until the end of the service. Excuse me? What is it that you are saying?  
  
Quatre had been quietly muttering about his father and how he was going to get his revenge. When the minister asked him if he wanted to be Quatre's muttering gained in volume.  
  
THE GUNDAMS ARE- Quatre was cut off as Trowa clamped a hand over Quatre's mouth.  
  
. . . Trowa said.  
  
The minister said. Does anyone know what he's saying?  
  
. . .   
  
Hey, what's he saying?  
  
He says shut up and get on with the service! Duo called out.  
  
Can you believe the disrespect Duo has for the church? Relena asked Heero. A street rat like him could never have respect for anything.  
  
Duo glared at her. Princess, it might be the mission to make sure you aren't hurt by an assassin in church, but I'm not an assassin. Don't push it, or you won't need protecting soon. Duo shot out.  
  
You see, Heero? You see how he disrespects me? Aren't you going to do something? Heero sighed and turned to Duo.  
  
Duo, stop antagonizing her. Just be quiet. An outraged look crossed Duo's face.  
  
And remember, Jesus Christ is the key to being saved! The minister called out and Duo jumped to his feet.  
  
Fine Heero, if that's how you want to play, we'll play!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duo kicked the bench they were sitting on over, sending every one toppling to the ground, except the gundam pilots, of course. I'm going now! Fuck the mission, fuck our relationship and you can forget about fucking me! Stalking out of the church he was bent on murder. That or beer.  
  
Walking down the street he found a local bar and slipped in. Give me a beer. He demanded from the bar tender.   
  
You got some identification? The bar tender asked.  
  
Duo whipped out his gun and pointed it strait at the guy's head. Yeah, it's right here.  
  
The bar tender slid a beer down the bar. You can have as many as you want. The bar tender assured him.  
  
Under aged drinking is always a plus. a voice next to him said.  
  
Milliardo Peacecraft! Wait a second. . . Duo exclaimed. What the hell are you doing in a bar while your sister is at church?   
  
Well, I was hired to kill her but I knida lost track of time and I've had about five drinks, and I can't seem to stand up. Milliardo said shrugging.  
  
You're the assassin?!?!?!? But why would you want to kill your own sister? Duo asked while downing his beer.  
  
. . . . . . . . . Have you heard her voice? You've seen the way she acts. Milliardo paused. And if I hear her talk about Heero one more time I'm going to blow my head off faster then you can talk.  
  
Duo commented. That's pretty fast. I thought you were on L3X-18999.   
  
I got a call from some mysterious person asking me to blow her head off. I decided, hey, I've got nothing to lose. Except a sister, but that's what I'm trying to loose.   
  
So, you really want to get rid of your sister? For the right price, I'll kill her for you! Duo said enthusiastically. I mean, sure, we had a mission to protect her, but Heero pissed me off. I'm ready to tell the mission to go to hell and kill her myself. Actually, I already told the mission to go to hell.  
  
So, how much do I have to pay you? Milliardo asked.  
  
Oh, maybe just a hundred credits. I don't really need money. Me and Heero make enough already.  
  
Milliardo said and handed Duo the credits.  
  
Thanks, man! See ya later! Duo left the bar and started to walk towards the church. I wonder why there are police cars going in the general direction of the church?  
  
By the time Duo got to the church he noticed that there were more than just police cars there. There was also an ambulance.  
  
Hey, you, what the hell happened in there?  
  
Some guy went crazy and shot Miss Relena in the head. The cop said.  
  
Who was it?  
  
I don't know what his name is, but he had dark blue eyes. That's about all I know.  
  
Oh, okay. So Relena's dead? Really?  
  
  
  
Duo walked into the church. Cool. Well, I have to go and see why Heero did that. But hey, I'm not complaining.'  
  
Duo walked up to Heero and asked, Shot Relena?  
  
Yeah. Forgive me?  
  
Of course. Want to go have make up sex?  
  
  
  
Are we going to use the handcuffs? I mean, they kinda hurt. I wouldn't mind a new pair of fuzzy black ones, though. Hint, hint, hint. Duo said with a grin.  
  
Off to the back round stood Quatre and Trowa. Well, Heero and Duo finally made up after Relena was gone. Quatre said.  
  
. . . Trowa agreed. . . . Trowa suggested making Quatre blush.  
  
Yeah, sure Trowa. Do you want to wait until we make it home or do you want to just do it in the car?   
  
. . .   
  
Yeah, the back of the church sounds good Trowa swept Quatre up into his arms and began to carry him away.  
  
And only WuFei was left. I want someone to celebrate with. He pouted.  
  
Hey, so what happened? Milliardo asked.  
  
Yuy just shot Relena in the head. WuFei informed him.  
  
What! I just paid Duo to kill her, eh, at least she's dead.  
  
That's something to celebrate. WuFei said.  
  
Back room? Milliardo suggested with a grin.  
  
Back room! WuFei agreed.  
  
The End . . .   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
This was the first installment of our ongoing saga. We've already got the sequel in the works but we're taking ideas for the one after that. They are as following:  
  
1: The G-Wing Boys go to church  
2: The G-Wing boys on their own  
3: Readers choice  
4: Heero's dilemma- Duo's birthday  
5: The Wedding disaster  
6: The big fight  
7: The Vegas wedding in Hawaii  
8: Readers choice  
  
After that, well, we haven't gotten that far . . . yet . . . so leave us some reviews and some comments and some ideas and then leave us alone to work! Ja ne!!!!!


End file.
